ILLYML – 29.1

Thank you Ko-fi supporter Teptepp!

[t1v: Still in a flashback]

A few days have passed since then.

In the meantime, I haven’t seen Alastair.

Somehow I heard the news that he woke up.

I was very relieved by that.

When I saw the blood flowing from his head, I thought he had died.

Even now, the memories of that day are clear, and I tremble when I pass the stairs.

I sighed, full of confusion, and my anxiety filled the room.

I was in the gallery hall where the paintings collected by Duke Melford are displayed.

A commonality between all the pieces she collected is that they all look twisted and bizarre.

The picture in front of me was no different.

In the painting, there was a couple, a man and woman, with perilous appearances.

The woman was backed into a corner. She had no place to retreat from the edge of the cliff. Her expression crumbled hideously into a tearless despair and silent scream.

It was disgusting.

In front of her, the man hugged the woman’s waist at the edge of the cliff. It looked so uncomfortable that it would not be strange if he fell off the cliff soon, perhaps because his limbs were twisted.


Someone opened the door and entered the room.

I knew who it was without looking.

I wasn’t annoyed today.

Because I wanted to check his condition.


I frowned over the white bandage around his head.

“Are you worried about me?”

He laughs happily.

If it were me in the past, I would have felt unpleasant, but today it was different.

It was the first time that I had no reluctance in seeing him.

Even if there was a slight discomfort, the sight of his white bandage around his head made it subside.

“…… I’m sorry. Back then, it was an accidental mistake.”

“I’m okay.”

He hugged his arm around my waist.

I was pushed back by the force that embraced me against the picture I had been observing since a while ago.

His unhesitating touch made me uncomfortable, but I did not show it.

Looking at his white bandaged head reminded me of the moment when I pushed him away—the moment when blood was flowing from his head.

I couldn’t bring myself to do anything because I was so sorry.

“I was rather happy.”


“It’s a wound you gave me. So I’m glad. No matter what you do to me, I’m amazed.”

Disgust like acidic bile rose up my throat.

“And now I’m hurt, so Seri won’t push me away, right?”

His purple eyes contained a distorted joy.

I shouldn’t have looked into those eyes.

A spooky sensation took over my whole body.

I lifted my hand, leveraging against the picture, and pushed him.

He fell a few steps away from me.

I couldn’t accept him anymore and hurried out of the room.

Since then, I’ve been avoiding him all the time.

Guilt and disgust coexisted, making it harder than before to be in his presence.

The only thing I could do was to avoid bumping into him as much as possible.

But we met again like two cogs interlocked. In the worst of circumstances.

Until then, I really didn’t even think about it.

That I’ll do more than push him off the stairs, the accident of that day really happened in an instant.

“Haaah……! No!”

He struggled to shake off the hands of the Duke’s servants.

However, as adults, their strength was stronger, and Alastair was dragged away by them.

It was always a repeating routine.

Alastair resisted entering the Hall of Hallucinations and being brainwashed until the servants dragged him away with force.

“Stop it… ! No!”

His movements to get out of their grasp, while twisting his whole body as hard as he could—suddenly paused. Purple eyes touched me.




He called me desperately.

Other than that, there was no backstory, but I didn’t know what he wanted me to say.

He’s asking for help.

But there was nothing I could do.

I turned my head.

I turned my back on that desperate call.

I didn’t want to know or help him with his request.

Shouldn’t I take care of myself first?

How can I help you?

Believing it, I snickered and walked as fast as I could, as if running away.

I don’t know what’s going on behind my back.

The feeling of guilt that was deeply suppressed creeps up on my heart.

‘I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s natural.’

“…… Don’t go, Serina.”

A murky voice longed mournfully.

I haven’t heard anything.

I repeat it to myself dozens of times.

“Do not throw me away.”

I haven’t heard anything.

I didn’t hear anything.


I stopped at the eerie sound of scratching my eardrum.


A gust blew from behind me, and my silver hair fluttered around, and the blue hem of my skirt fluttered in the air.

The aggressive wind swept my skin.

In the place where the wind passed, a long line became messy, and blood sweeped out.

“Run away my lady! It’s dangerous!”


You can read more here.

18 thoughts on “ILLYML – 29.1

  1. Oh? Did Alistair just magic slashed the servant and paint him on the walls. Oof. Becoming a horror story here. 😱

  2. Aaaaaah o que acontece depois???? De novo me fazendo chorar, essa novel só me arranca lágrimas!! Obrigada por mais um capítulo!!🤗💜💜

  3. Could Alastair be a high level yandere? Like he’d rather kill Serina if she doesn’t love him back or something like that… idk hahahaha

  4. This is like a damn Horror Story, this is so fucking mess up and now I understand why MC is so thick skin when it comes to Alastair love. 😭😭

    1. Yes!!!!! I was not understanding until these chapters. Both of them had suffered so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭
      Thanks for the update 💛💛

  5. Thank you só much for the chapters! if I could o would pay for the chapters but the dolar in my country is very expensive right now 🙁

  6. Muito obrigado pela tradução!❤️
    Por favor, tragam mais… Ou entrarei em estado de abstinência.

  7. Thank you for the translation ❤️ ooof this is heavy but so good with all the actions, effects and emotions. I can’t tell how I want it to go, any version ending happy/sad that I conceive of sounds good and rings possible. Looking forward to see how the author will progress

  8. Seriously, thank you very much, this story caught me totally, it’s 4 a.m. I started reading a chapter and I stayed here reading
    I am intrigued by the story … I understand the feelings of the protagonist … very sad!
    Thank you very much for the translation

Leave a Reply