ILLYML – 28.1

I had a dream.

In my dream, there was a young me standing in a long hallway.

When I turned my head to the side, there was a railing, and below it, I could see a large hall and a massive door on the first floor.

When I turned my head back, there was a wall.

Unlike the previous one, there was nothing in the background.

There was a tingling sensation coming from my smaller hand that came into view.

There was a small scratch that surprised me.

‘When did this happen?’

Oh yeah.

This was a wound caused by Alastair.

Alastair threw a vase at me.

I had reflexively raised my hand to avoid the flying container, and it hit my hand.

This was a wound I got then.


Maybe because it was a dream, the sound of the door opening sounded even louder and grotesque.

I turned in the direction of the ringing pitch.

I thought I was alone, but suddenly there are three more people besides me.

Two men in uniforms are dragging a boy from each arm.

I thought that the servants would treat the boy more carefully.

The boy’s name is Alastair.

It’s still an unfamiliar and awkward name even though several years have passed since he came to his mansion.

With every step the men take the boy recoils and shakes wildly.

His head lifted slightly.

His purple eyes flashed as he saw me. It happened in the blink of an eye.

Alastair rushed at me.

The vigilant servants, who were on guard, were greatly embarrassed.

“Agh……!” [Gasp]

Alastair grabbed my neck and started to strangle me.


Alastair’s body fell over mine on the floor.

“Get him— right now!”

“How dare you—Miss…!”

The servants who ran belatedly pulled Alastair off of me.

He struggled to escape their arms, but he was too weak to do so. Because he was young and small.

“I am ·······! Why am I ·······!”

Alastair shouted with a voice full of poison:

“I have to love something like you…! But I hate it! I hate it!”

Supported by the attendant, I got up and rubbed my neck. My throat was sore and throbbing.

I wasn’t startled because he was often aggressive with me.

At that time, I was so used to it that I couldn’t imagine what would happen next.

What would Alastair be like after brainwashing

* * *

I had forgotten.

Memories buried deep from a long time ago resurfaced in my dreams. I chewed them over.

I woke up early, ate right away, and with Lida’s help, I changed into my outdoor clothes.

“Are you going?”

“Um, yes.”

As I left the hallway to go out, I ran into Igelto.

Even if I didn’t say it, he had a rough idea of ​​where I was going.

I was going to Melford to retrieve those brainwashing scented candles.

“Have a safe trip.”

“Yes, I’ll be right back.”

I sent a letter to Mikhail and asked him to look at the Duke’s schedule.

It would be a little safer to visit while she was away from the mansion.

He asked why, but I didn’t say.

I mumbled and got into the carriage and leaned against my back.

My heart is shaking already.

I closed my eyes to calm the tremor.

It wasn’t long before the carriage started.

I closed my eyes, and a darkness of nothing unfolded.

Suddenly, the dream I had earlier came to mind.

In retrospect, in the beginning, Alastair and I weren’t close at all.

At the time, I didn’t care whether he was brainwashed or tortured by my family.

Yeah, that’s what I had thought back then:

It’s none of my business.

Poor boy.

That was all.

However, it didn’t take long for those thoughts to change.

My daily life had changed since he was brainwashed and loved me.

* * *

[t1v: flashback]


My hand that was pulling a book out from the shelf trembled at the voice calling for me.

I looked back nervously.

Behind me, as if it were natural, was Alastair.

I dreaded this terribly.

“I’ve been looking for you for a while.”

He laughed brightly as if he was happy to find me.

Conversely, my face was wrinkled without mercy.

He came a step closer to me.

I shuddered and took a step back and said urgently:

“Stay there.”

I was terrified of him approaching me.

If he came near me, I would choke as if the air was polluted.

When he tried to reach me, I became nauseous with disgust, like bugs were crawling all over me.

“Turn your head. Your eyes… are very upsetting.”

I hated the way those eyes looked at me.

Those purple eyes were as beautiful as jewels, but they were lifeless.

He looks at me lovingly, but his eyes are empty.

It was as if maggots ate up all the contents and left his eyes void.

“Don’t approach me. Act the way you use to. You hate me.”

“……How can I hate you.”

His speech was stilted and awkward, as if he was a child struggling to read for the first time. His forced expression made him turn white and pale.

He looked like a puppet being controlled.

I read the original and knew that one day this day would come, but this is…

This change in attitude was creepier than I had anticipated.

Even I had to admit that those purple eyes that sometimes express hatred and are sometimes mesmerized by me are captivating.

He, who had hated me so much, was now so anxious because he loved me and couldn’t close the distance between us.

I left him behind and quickly exited the study.

As I walked through the hallway, I saw a familiar face.

It was my mother’s maid, Marina.

She greeted me with courtesy.

I ignored her and continued walking.

“Miss, have you ever seen the young master?”

Marina’s question came from behind me.

I knew immediately which young master she was talking about. It must be Alastair.

“The Duke is looking for the young master, but I can’t find him.”

My fast-paced feet stopped in the middle of the corridor.

I didn’t know why my mother was calling him. It’s probably about brainwashing.

“How would I know?”

I won’t tell you, but you’ll find him soon anyway.

That was just the way things were.


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7 thoughts on “ILLYML – 28.1

  1. Isso é muito triste!!!! Estou me afogando em lágrimas aqui! Obrigada pelo capítulo!!🤗💜

  2. so he hated her at first and was even violent. ofc it will be hard for her to accept his affections. im super happy that she admits her love for him but it mustve made it harder for her 🙁

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