“Does that make any sense?”
“No. Regardless of brainwashing, I—”
“If I hear that bullshit about love from your lips one more time…”
A sad light penetrated his purple eyes.
I love you, so don’t deny it.”
“When have I ever asked you to accept it? I have always endured and suffered, unable to quench my longing. So, don’t deny that.”
Still, he was saying the same thing.
“Then you’re crazy.”
We didn’t meet under normal circumstances; instead, he met me when he was completely isolated and being tormented. I love you. Me.
Of course, brainwashing made him love me.
Even knowing that the only words that came out of my mouth are-
“Crazy, this is.”
All I could utter was a denial.
As if I had become an idiot, my head was so happy that I had forgotten how to move my tongue to speak.
From the very moment, he refuted me.
I instinctively opened my mouth.
“I’m confused about what is what. No— I don’t want to know anymore.”
I don’t want to be hurt anymore.
I just want to live without knowing anything.
But I know it’s too late for that.
His mouth is twisting strangely.
Not laughing or crying. It’s a funny look.
His expression crumbled as if he was heading towards the abyss.
His appearance was ridiculous.
He reached out and carefully swept my cheeks.
I wondered why the hell he didn’t move his hand.
“······· I’m sorry.”
“So…… don’t cry because of me.”
Am I….. crying?
His fingers pressed firmly under my eyes, and only then I knew I was crying.
The dampness soaked my cheek and flowed down.
“……Because I can’t believe I tried to hurt you.”
His eyelashes quivered.
“So I denied it. I’m sorry, Serina.”
I was dizzy by the hot sensation under my eyes.
My vision was blurred by the explosive tears, but I looked at him with no emotion.
As he bit his lips, his red lips became even redder.
Thick tears rolled out from the water.
Various complex emotions swirled around chaotically, making it difficult to breathe.
Maybe it’s harder to come to his senses than it is for me.
Having to face the fact that he tried to kill me.
He pulled my arm carefully, and my weak body plunged into his arms.
“And then… If I do that again, then….”
His voice trembled intermittently.
As the solid body that should hold me swayed, I felt something break.
I raised his head heavily at those words and stared at his violet eyes.
His eyes with dreamy colors were still beautiful.
It was dark.
“You’re not saying you won’t do that, that there’s no next time.”
Maybe he knows it too.
He may deny it to me, but I may be the only one who knows it.
That he could try to kill me again.
That he could lose his mind and might do something to me
I really don’t know anything anymore.
It was impossible to make heads or tails of this dilemma because it was a ridiculous situation from the beginning.
Really now… it’s time now······.
The hand that was sweeping my back temporarily stiffened.
He must have understood what this means.
My limp body was like cotton, soaked with water, and became helplessly lethargic.
Leaning in his arms and thought.
I want to let go of brainwashing and everything now.
“Let’s quickly finish it, Alastair.”
The words sounded more brutal because there was no object. [t1v: aka there might be a misunderstanding—what does ‘it’ refer to?The relationship? His hypnosis?]
I leaned into his arms, tears rolling down my emotionless face.
I am tired.
That was my last thought before I went unconscious.