Translated by Jasmine.
So Long For Now, Summer
It was silent for a while, and suddenly the silence was broken by the sound of such a question. It was clear that Woo Jin-ha also checked the screen of his mobile phone by omitting the exact reference.
She told the truth in a conventional fashion.
“You said he was like your brother.” (J)
“Yes, he’s like that. Sometimes he’s like a little brother.” (S)
“I know you’re innocent, but so is he?” (J)
“If you say yes, you’re either a swindler or you don’t know anything about him.” (J)
Kim Yun-hyeong was angry when Woo Jin-ha called him the cub, and the followup words flew like stones. As she looked at the TV with her head up in the book, Woo Jin-ha picked up the remote control and turned it off.
“What do you want for dinner?” (J)
It was absurd to ask, of all the questions he could have asked. While she was looking at him, he recited some things he could cook.
Speaking of which, she still found it strange that he was cooking. She doesn’t know what she thought of him after seeing each other for four and a half years.
Does he even know how to turn on the lights? When she first heard that he was cooking, it was the first thought she had when she saw the back of his head. So, how strange would it be to ask her what she would want to eat while reciting the menu he would cook?
Since he started to not go to work, he has always cooked for her himself, at first focusing on the foods that the housekeeper had made in advance, but later only making new dishes. It wasn’t very skillful, but it had the knack of making everything edible.
In the past, she would have spent days trying to figure out when, where, and how he came to cook. She wanted to ask, but she didn’t want to pry. She doesn’t want him to bother her. She couldn’t be bothered with one topic that others can talk about for five or ten minutes, which is then also attached to one piece and made into a single lump.
And then, ‘Have you ever done this for another woman? Or am I the first…’ It’s better not to know than to think about it alone. If it’s right, it’ll be a bit bitter.
She was the one who lived in such a feathery delusion while calmly repeating, “I know my subject.” (S)
His rather delicate question is over because he is laughing at himself.
She eventually said she’d eat anything, and he affirmed her response. Then he said, “I don’t have any ingredients, so I might have to go out for a while.” (J) As he replied, he took his wallet and disappeared to the front door.
Now the silence that she is used to has settled in the house.
Aside from cooking for her, how many times have they eaten together? She couldn’t count the days when they worked together. But since she got married, she could really count how often they dined together.
He didn’t have dinner at home, didn’t wake up and eat breakfast, he just stayed for a while. She doesn’t feel like it is home, but sometimes she doesn’t feel like him.
What is she doing in a place that isn’t even his house? He had a child he didn’t even want… The rest of her life was wasted if she thought so in this silence. She wanted to let go because she was so weakly gripped onto life.
She thought of him putting the bowls in the dishwasher, pouring water for her, and arranging the house. It’s definitely a daily routine that she has seen for over a week, and yet it didn’t seem real.
He never treated her like a drama queen. As a result, she is taking advantage of herself.
Is he trying to make her feel better?
Or is he really worried about her?
What’s the use of the former, and the latter now?
All the days were meaningless. She wasn’t thrilled with him at all. No matter what he did for her, it didn’t change now.
She’d rather have sex. It’s better to have sex as if that’s all he wants from her as before, and leave the room without looking back. She couldn’t imagine them sharing their daily lives, looking for each other, and seeing each other all day as if it was natural when they woke up. And now that she has experienced it.
She grabbed her cell phone like she was running away.
One missed call from Kim Yun-hyeong. There have been several messages since yesterday. She thought for a moment when she saw Kim Yun-hyeong’s last message.
[When will you take your car?] 7:01 p.m. (Y)
The contracted car in Gimpo was released a few days ago. Shim Hee-joo had asked Kim Yun-hyeong on her behalf because she couldn’t be extradited. She thought of Woo Jin-ha not answering regarding his mother, so she looked into the air and counted the days.
[Where did you put it? I’ll pick it up tomorrow.] 7:15 p.m. (S)
[Studio parking lot.] 7:15 p.m. (Y)
She got a reply right away.
[I’m sorry. I had a situation.] 7:15 p.m. (S)
[How are you feeling?] 7:16 p.m. (Y)
That’s the first thing she was asked while he was doing unilateral favors for her and not hearing a proper explanation from her.
That’s the answer to Woo Jin-ha, but Kim Yun-hyeong has never felt like a younger brother. Sometimes, Shim Hee-joo talks immaturely, curses like a child, and even like a child who sucks even if they feel bad or like it. Kim Yun-hyeong was more mature than she was in the past. Adults often compare Kim Yun-hyeong and her, and say he is immature. Rather, she was actually festering and warped, and not a mature adult as others thought.
[Shim Hee-joo] 7:17 p.m.(Y)
[Are you okay?] 7:18 p.m.(Y)
It was from that day. The details of the emotions suddenly flew away, and the gap between likes and dislikes narrowed endlessly. She had no strength other than that because she was alive, and living mindlessly was all she had. She got tired early. She feels like she has already lived for far too long.
So, what was Kim Yun-hyeong’s expression like when he said, “I can’t live anymore. I can’t live anymore.” (Y) She sometimes thought that what she spat out that day became Kim Yun-hyeong’s shackle.
‘I thought you were really… I thought you were going to die…Damn it, I thought you jumped up somewhere… You’ll be damned if you see me later, you’ll die, man…’ (S)
Two years later, the 19-year-old, who threatened to kill himself on the phone, stood tall and cried at the bus stop as soon as he saw her.
If he had not known her thoughts at one point, he would have always been noisy like the sun shining on cloudy days and then disappearing. She wouldn’t have doubted it. Then she is left in a friendly crowd where she can’t even see her face.
Kim Yun-hyeong and Shim Hee-joo had a perfect relationship. He liked people, and people liked him. He has loved girls since he was young.
It is ironic that there is always a documentary that is boring and gloomy around the guy who has to live as if he is watching only fun things.
Kim Yun-hyeong once identified Shim Hee-joo to the point where his girlfriend misunderstood him because he couldn’t help but look into it just in case. She was upset that Kim Yun-hyeong knew how much he liked his girlfriend.
Of course, Kim Yun-hyeong’s girlfriend changed constantly, and he who is a flirt by nature, liked every new girl with a new heart. There’s no one who’s good at being a person who’s stuck around in everything. If he was still in a relationship these days, we wouldn’t have exchanged messages like this.
Shim Hee-joo was lucky to be able to push her ass to her heart’s content.
One thought on “SLS – 32”