TPCP – 165

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“Elisha,”

Lucerne whispered softly to wake her up. Two contradicting desires rose up simultaneously; a part of him wanted to soothe her, and another wanted to hear more of what she had to say. Then, she grabbed him in her sleep and clung to him for dear life.

“Forgive me, please don’t hate me… … .”

wept Elisha.

“To you… … I’m sorry for messing up. I ruined everything… … .”

Elisha tightened her arms wrapped around him and murmured in confused desperation, still in a dream-like state. Lucerne froze, unable to move.

So shocked, he felt a physical-like blow as if he had been pummeled several times in the stomach and the top of his head was struck by lightning. Her small hands grasped Lucerne’s collar roughly, almost tearing it off. Although in the midst of sleep, she madly burrowed into him.

Even though it was a body he had embraced many times before, he was taken aback; her body was too small… … . soft and delicate.

His heart beat so vociferously that his lungs ached. It was the kind of pain he had never experienced before. Finally, Elisha’s body slipped away and fell. He gasped.

At that very moment, Lucerne couldn’t breathe.

***

Elisha opened her eyes unhurriedly. She felt the silk blanket wrapped around her. It was the room she stayed with Lucerne in the palace. She turned her head and found Lucerne sitting in a chair.

“Are you awake?”

he asked. Elisha nodded cautiously. He slowly rose from his seat but then sat back down. The first emotion she felt was fear.

‘In my previous life, Lucerne saw those names and went mad. Maybe this time… … .’

I might die—she felt such fear. Elisha reflexively placed her hand on her neck.

Yet, the situation was distinctly different than anticipated. Lucerne was looking down at her indifferently.

Elisha’s throbbing heart slowly sank. She was suddenly aware of the expression she was wearing, specifically the position of her eyebrows. Realizing she was frowning, she released and forcibly relaxed her brows and resumed her composure with her usual calm countenance. She sat up slowly.

“Did I faint?”

“Yes,”

Lucerne answered quietly. It was the first time Elisha had seen him in such a condition. He was just… … . quiet. Still. He had no expression, like a man without feelings. Elisha tried to read the emotions in his gaze.

That happened in her past life. The memory of her shivering in the club, soaked in a sea of blood, was the most terrifying thing she had ever experienced. So, she revealed her frailty for a moment. Because the heart is not steel. At moments like these, she would realize that she was helplessly and inevitably imperfect.

“Are… … you angry?”

Elisha asked quietly. She looked into Lucerne’s eyes.

“I’m not so mad with jealousy. Of course, there could be someone penning a love letter to you,”

Lucerne responded lightly as he clenched and loosened his fists. Elisha felt as if there was more anger than she could have imagined behind his calmness.

“That’s not a love letter.”

“I know,”

Lucerne replied briefly.

“I also know that you’re not stupid enough to choose the author of such a clumsy love letter as an adulterous colluder. How demanding you are.”

“… … .”

Lucerne didn’t say that he believed that she wouldn’t commit infidelity. He stood up. He lifted the letter from his table.

“You seem to know these names.”

Elisha balked. She realized it was too late to pretend otherwise.

“… … I overheard it by chance.”

“Are you a little ghost again? Happening to overhear the right information. Are Jacob and Carola so talkative?”

“… … When they are alone in the office, they talk a lot. I used to overhear it from a secret passageway.”

Only one corner of his mouth rose scarcely. His eyes were still not smiling.

“When.”

“What?”

“When exactly did you overhear that? Last year?”

“Last year… ?… . no. It was around this time two years ago. I overheard it by chance while roaming around the secret passage.”

Elisha asserted calmly. She knew he was trying to find faults and holes in her story. Around this time last year, Gaju took Jacob and his wife to a resort.

The head maid had selected her to sew clothes for Carola’s resort trip. Besides, the entire mansion would noisily prepare clothes when they went to the provinces.

Elisha considered herself very fortunate that she had a good memory.

“Yes, I see. Around this time last year, I, the Head, and the Jacob couple met in Yurif.”

Lucerne was convinced. Elisha wanted to exhale and pat her chest in relief.

“Lucerne, about you… … . They said you felt bad around this time of the year. And discussed how you had episodes and ran amok… … . Just by hearing those names,”

Elisha mumbled quietly. And it was true. In her first life, it was the following year that she overheard that exact anecdote.

‘At this time they died, so Lucerne is in a bad mood. Just the mere mention of those names brings on a violent episode. We must encourage the Lord to clash with him during this period. That’s Carola’s specialty, so we can do it well.’

It was a passing remark she heard. At the time, she didn’t know what she was talking about. The exact meaning of Carola’s words was belatedly discovered years later. The day Lucerne slaughtered everyone at the Red Club.

“What were you so terrified of? It’s all right.”

Lucerne clicked his tongue.

“Were you so afraid that you fainted?”

She registered Lucerne’s candid demeanor and nodded. But when he held out his hand, she flinched. But she did not avoid him. He caressed her head.

“Did I get mad at you?”

“You didn’t. But you seem very angry… … .”

Elisha answered quietly.

“I know. You… … . that once you lose trust, it’s over. That’s our relationship… … . If you get angry, I… … .”

Elisha spoke frankly. Lucerne’s pupils gradually sank, his eyes grew dark, and his mood seemed to deteriorate.

He was reacting very strangely. He seemed sad and concealed his suppressed anger. But more than that, he knew she was more focused on him than herself. If it was Elisha, he could tell.

Lucerne asked,

“Would you like me to leave the room?”

Elisha was stunned that he was being so considerate. Lucerne had never been caring like this. Elisha was always there by his side, at his beck and call.

5 thoughts on “TPCP – 165

  1. This is sooo stressing lol 😩 Lucerne is so scary hahah 😆 hiding secrets from eo is sooo baaad 😩

    Thank you~ 🌸🍒

  2. Lucerne is so smart and crazy Elisha must be really exhausted to be by his side while feeling like walking on a tightrope all the time

  3. This conversation seems to be stressing both of them out. When Lucerne felt like he couldn’t breathe, I wonder if Elisha said something else before falling away… perhaps, a reference to last chapter, “It was around then that she decided to die after thinking about it for a long time.” Did she proclaim while mumbling that she’d die if he leaves? Did she… say she’d die again if he abandons her again? Or was it really just the realization he had that she’s so delicate and frail while hiding how his specter haunts her in her dreams? Could he have felt a level of obsession from her that shocked him? I hope they will show some more from his point of view. Really, I feel like the simple answer is probably this: he finally felt his heart completely and irredeemably shake… and now he can’t even pretend not to care.

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