Translated by Jasmine.
So Long For Now, Summer
That day she returned to the house where they lived and lay down like the previous day. She looked at the darkness with open eyes for a long time and saw him sleeping with an even breath next to her side.
When she was in an unstable mood because of hormones before, she sometimes burst into tears just by looking at his sleeping face. Everything was overwhelming, and then suddenly it was good at that time. No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t accept it, and then she felt like crying again.
Ignoring his cold side because he doesn’t love her, she thought she would fall off the edge of the cliff again in one night, just reflecting on the fact that “their” child was in her womb, that he was lying next to her, and that he was her husband. With the feeling like she’s about to lose everything. No different like that of a crazy woman.
It does indeed. Even right now, she was standing on the edge of a cliff.
He’s still lying by her side, but the man she saw that day is no longer there. Looking at him now, there’s no more foolish heart in her. And yet, it’s a pity that she is still in love. A pity that she was sitting still in a car where he forced her to ride on to and still loving him despite everything when she finally calmed down.
She waited for a long time until dawn. A day has passed , albeit still very early in the morning. She felt so calm today that it felt strange.
She washed her face and walked to the kitchen to make coffee. It didn’t take much time, but as she didn’t have the energy to stand and wait, she took a seat at the table. She could barely pick up her cell phone and sent a message of apology to Yoon-hyeong. The last action drained all the energy left in her body.
In fact, it was strange how in Gimpo, she was ridiculously energetic as if she was on drugs.
It’s more like how the mind manipulates the body. She belatedly felt that she should have really been hospitalized for a few more days as recommended. It was cold even though she turned off the air conditioner. The stomachache, which had been felt from time to time during the night, felt like something was cutting off her lower abdomen fiercely.
The pain penetrated her back instantaneously. She felt lightheaded. She grinded her teeth while grabbing her forehead in her hand. My Legs felt awkward and stiff like cheap dolls. It was like being paralysed.
Fortunately, blood never showed up since last night. Nonetheless, whenever it hurts more than this, she just needs to sit down right away.
As she heard from the hospital, the surgery went very well and her uterus is in a state of bloody perfect recovery. A woman will be fine if she gets married earlier compared to other women, since a woman will be better if she could get pregnant sooner. Meaning, how miraculously lucky she was .
Like she should’ve cried in gratitude instead. She thought sneering while swallowing the prescribed medicine and painkillers in her empty stomach and waited for the pills to work its wonder. These painkillers were strong pills that her doctor gave strictly to use only when she was absolutely tired.
It still felt painful for my fingers to touch anything, so she tried to clench and stretched it weakly under the table. It felt like there’s a heavy-weight hanging from her limb, which felt different from her own. Of course, it is nothing compared to the heaviness in her chest.
Even though her breasts looked small as usual on the surface, in reality, it was as if two sacks full of stones were hung on them instead. Her heart ached as if the stones were constantly knocking into each other within. Her body, which naturally thought that she had given birth yesterday, is now starting to produce some milk little by little.
The child is dead and gone, but her breasts are ready for breast-feeding. Thinking about it made her laugh. After wiping away a few drops of tears, she let her hands hang still again.
The coffee is prepared. However, she didn’t even fetch a cup while waiting for it. It’s more like she didn’t even think to do it. Instead, she merely smelled the fragrant coffee while staring around the house.
Unlike the bedroom, where only little light came through the gap between the blackout curtains, the outside of the bedroom has now revealed its shape with clear brightness. And of course, everything was the same.
It was like she was mocking myself. Today, yesterday, yesterday, yesterday, today.
But no matter what she does, she can’t beat him for making fun of her.
She saw Woo Jin-ha coming out of the bedroom as she stared around the house.
He passed me by without saying much. Then he brought coffee and put it in front, and sat across from her.
Still, there is nothing much to say. Distorted hair. Comfortable outfit just out of bed. It’s a new impression of him that she has seen since they got married. Him, with a pair of eyes completely unlike a man who’d just woke up.
“Aren’t you going to drink?” (J)
“Did I wake you up?” (S)
“You should have slept more. You still have time until you go to the gym.” (S)
His eyes narrowed as if to see what was on her mind.
You’re the one who doesn’t know what’s on my mind inside.
She lowered her eyes and started drinking coffee.
“It’s all right.” (S)
“I slept well.” (S)
“All right.” (S)
“Every time you open your mouth, you are lying….” (J)
He murmured impassively. She didn’t even want to sit facing each other anymore, so she grabbed her coffee and threw it on the sink without saying anything. When she turned around, she saw Woo Jin-ha looking at the painkiller pill-shell on the table.
She wanted to go somewhere else because she didn’t like the topic that would lead to the medicine and she didn’t want to see his face pretending to be worried about her. And so, she moved her stiff legs towards the garden next to the living room.