Translated by Jasmine.
So Long For Now, Summer
Yoon-hyeong kept on asking, she just answered calmly, from outside, they didn’t look like they were talking about miserable things.
Even after their order of glutinous rice already arrived. Neitherof them picked up their chopsticks yet.
“Why the hell does it have to be today?” (Y)
“It must be done today.” (S)
“…Yes, if it’s you… an accident? What… What actually happened… How could this happen? Last month… didn’t you say that the child is still healthy at that time?” (Y)
“Yeah. Very healthy.” (S)
“-But… It happened so suddenly.” (S)
“It seemed that no one wanted to stay by my side. Nobody.” (S)
“Mom too… Also, Dad…” (S)
“Hee-shin too.” (S)
Whenever she talked about him, her tongue always felt heavy like a stone. She was an older sister who had never felt sorry for her younger brother who had died at such a young age.
She didn’t want Yoon-hyeong to notice her sadness, so she looked down.
Her brother had died at the age of six back when she was still thirteen years old.
When her brother died, her whole family seemed to also die along with him as well. All of their happiness died along with those memories as well. They never felt happy again. There would be no more cherished memories. A mother who never laughed again and Dad who didn’t love her anymore.
Time passed by since then, but they were still the same deep inside, of course sometimes they did laugh again, even though she felt that her parents were reduced to nothing but merely shells. Time seems to stop on the day her brother died as if they were unable to return to reality anymore.
How could she dare to complain? She didn’t even know how. But still, at that time the world around her seemed to have fallen into chaos, suffering alone thinking that she was treated unfairly.
When the brother who she hated was dead. She unconsciously felt guilty, kept on having a dream where she could still see him again.
A dream where he was still alive.
As she was nothing but a child, she couldn’t immediately be aware of her guilt, in turn, her personality changed. She slowly became a cynical child instead, often angering her grandma to no end. At that time, it seems that the misfortune of the whole world has come to her. Hee-shin died while she was still alive. She was desperately in need of an adult figure… so she would feel lonely every time she saw the view of their back.
Furthermore, she didn’t know what’s on her parents’ hearts at all. There were times when it seemed like they did not know each other at all.
She now understood the sorrow her mother felt when Hee-shin died. It took a long time to truly comprehend her sorrow at that time, but now she knows.
If the child was born safely, would she be able to sit in this restaurant laughing on the next day after the baby who was supposed to be home, from the day she said ‘mom’, learned how to walk, waved her hand at her from the entrance of the kindergarten, suddenly died before her after she gave me all those precious days? Could she even dare to think that she’d be able to continue living like she used to?
But even though she was able to understand the pain now, she still didn’t fully understand her mother’s heart.
“Don’t say such a nonsense words. It was so dreadful for you as well.” (Y)
“I know.” (S)
Treat her with a terrible heart. Mom’s feelings of persistence for her since that day… For her, everything is just not thinking. She swallowed the emptiness in my stomach feebly.
The same as her sorrowful heart. The same broken heart that Mom had endured for her sake after that day. She could not even be confident to be able to do it as she did. All she could do now was try to swallow this emptiness inside helplessly.
“Your good brother is still here.” (Y)
“This forever alone guy is still here.” (Y)
“Your best friend since college” (Y)
“Okay. Stop repeating it.” (S)
“Don’t worry about the alcohol, eat lots of meat as you like.” (Y)
“You must’ve been very busy recently, because of me, you’ve wasted a whole day. I’m sorry.” (S)
“Forget it. It wasn’t the first time that you used me to settle your matters…” (Y)
“Yes. The mighty guardian. Kim Yoon-hyeong.” (S)
Yoon-hyeong just laughed at her comment.
“You knew this was bound to happen a long time ago. You lack the ability to tame that boy Jin-ha. I originally thought I was already handsome. Of course, compared to that boy…” (Y)
“You think you’re any better?” (S)
“I’m still considered a fairly good catch to others. Of course, there’s nothing to see if you look at me at this moment.” (Y)
“No way. There’s a lot who chased you now, is it?” (S)
She retorted mischievously, while Yoon-hyeong scowled at her.
“Your husband never liked me very much.” (Y)
Then he threw an unexpected line.
She was vaguely aware of it too. And she still couldn’t understand the reason why either. Although Kim Yoon-hyeong has a face that most women typically would love, usually men also generally would have a certain degree of great favorability towards him since long ago.
There are lots of other fellow alumni with whom he has been close due to his friendliness. He even still often gathered together with them even together with each of their own spouses, having fun, drinking, and chatting. It was unknown how he did it, but he has a certain charm that made people want to be around him.
Of course, there were always a few of those who were annoyed by him, though they were mostly despicable people, but even then, is there really anything in Yoon-hyeong that could possibly cause such intense dislike?
“No. He rather thinks well of you.” (S)
“Why do you still want to tell a lie? It was so obvious how he showed his dislike.” (Y)
“That’s true.” (S)
She chuckled and stayed quiet, and she then felt Kim Yoon-hyeong’s eyes on her. There was a piece of meat on the plate. This kind of shameless behavior could make even a child be ashamed more so as an adult who should know better than to do this.