SLS – 1

Translated by Jasmine.

So Long For Now, Summer

Chapter 01

Miscarriage

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1.Prologue

In the end, the child finally disappeared.

She touched her stomach even before she opened her eyes.  

Okay. The child has completely gone.

A bright fluorescent light poked through her closed eyelids. 

There was still the smell of the hospital that she had been smelling before closing her eyes.

She didn’t want to open her eyes yet, because she didn’t want to hear someone say anything to her when she opened her eyes.  

Just for a while more.

When she opened her eyes in the ambulance, she was convinced from then on. 

Or maybe she already knew it from the beginning. The cool sensation of something flowing between her legs. 

The heavy shock of her lower abdomen….

The child has finally disappeared.

For others, this ‘finally’ moment would be taken literally as ‘finally’ this ‘trouble’ has disappeared from the world

Sadly not for her.

She didn’t want to be caught by him, so she swallowed it and pressed it inside, but she had always been looking forward to meeting her child.

Maybe it was obvious, and it looked a little stupid. 

She also knew how miserable it would seem to be excited by herself.

He had no interest in her child. As I have warned myself from the beginning

The child, whose parents did not even want to give birth to, had no name to call even after the child died. 

The child was just a ‘child’. Then, right now this child was just a dead child.

It felt like it was only yesterday that she made the decision as she was caressing her stomach that started to show noticeably.

I will love you at least twice as much as to replace your dad.

But the child was gone, and the double-magnified future love plan remained nowhere.

I will love you more. So don’t be disappointed with his words someday.  

It’s not that he hates you.  

Just, we couldn’t even be a little happy together.

You’re not annoying to him, I’m annoying.  

Sorry. I’ll do better.

Instead, your dad has a really disgusting amount of money, and we’ll probably be able to….

Yesterday’s memories of muttering at the child in her stomach like a snob, laughing and crying without fail.

His fancy money was useless. Her child vanished in an instant.

My child. 

This child was her own child.  She clenched her teeth and opened her eyes.  

There is no such dream to say “my child”.

This child was only her child. He never wanted but she did. 

This child was her child, a child who’d be her family, and the child who had disappeared in an instant.

She felt like she was left alone in this world again. She had become a 17-year-old orphan again. 

Her eyes were hot as if it was on fire.

There was no one beside her. She expected so. He didn’t answer the phone earlier. Nothing bothers her husband as much as her phone call.

As she was weeping, a nurse with a sad expression appeared and said something. She cried without hearing any of it.

Before long the doctor came behind her. As for what the nurse had said, she didn’t hear it for some time.

Then she heard that the surgery was done well. 

Surgery. 

Yeah, surgery… It was a surgery she had personally signed the consent form for with trembling hands before she fainted again at the hospital.

The child was said to be already dead by then. When she got to the hospital. 

Her amniotic fluid has burst and part of the fetus has already come out, so she had to get the rest out of it.

The child died while coming out. To what extent did she understand the words then? The doctor spoke as if it were a very good thing.

“I’ve removed all the remains from the uterus.”

It sounded terrible like a nightmare to say that it had been removed.  

Fortunately, he said that her next pregnancy would be okay, when she could have sex, and when it would be desirable to prepare for pregnancy again.

She wasn’t just living to get pregnant. And no one would want that kind of thing.

The child, who had been alive in me for half a year, left me after saying, “It’s over.” 

Woo Jin-ha, it’s really over for that son of a bitch.

You bastard. You’re a son of a… 

She shouldn’t have loved a dog like him for even a day… She poured out all her resentment against him.

She sweared at him like this, but he may not actually be an asshole. It was because he actually did nothing wrong. Except that he didn’t love her from the beginning till the end.

Yes, from start to finish. 

All the problems were with her.

She didn’t know her problem, or maybe she knew it, but ignored it, and kept the proud Woo Jin-ha in her mind and floundered in the love as if it was the love of the great century.

She dared to love a man who hadn’t even looked at her for four years and resented the fact that he didn’t love her like she loved him. 

Nevertheless, she still crawled under his feet, fearing that he would never look at her if she had shown even a grain of resentment. 

Woo Jin-ha smiled for ten days with the slightest attention.

Ah. She was a really a stupid bitch.

“Do you have a guardian to pick you up?”

There has never been such a thing, but at least a few months ago there was a good opportunity. 

As she had worked in his company for the past four years, hoping to have been recognized by Woo Jin-ha as a useful subordinate. Ultimately, she had a few opportunities to protect her dignity.

What did she choose instead? She became an easy woman for one night. 

It would have been a very good memory if it could have stop there, but tactlessly she had a child from that night.

As his mother lamented, she really was ‘inconspicuously’ pregnant.

‘Just as long as your body stays healthy, even if you’re foolish.’

And so she asked,  ‘Do you think women get pregnant by themselves, mother?’

She was about to respond, but when the whole world criticized her for ruining Woo Jin-ha’s perfect life, she just thought it.

Mother-in-law is not wrong. It was only her who was wrong, who was she, it was all her. (T/N: “who was she” refers to her status)