PCP – 16

Thank you to raw provider: Laylie [tn: Damia’s heartbreak is so sad T_T]


Kael’s thick silence that fell over them was so heavy Damia lowered her eyes in misery.

I felt as if I had become a condemned criminal waiting for my neck to fall.

“Sorry, Damia. I don’t… I don’t even know what to say, and I’m so sorry for all this time.”

An apology trickled out of his mouth. Kael stammered out of embarrassment.

“Well, you know, I’m going to be a paladin… And you know. The knights of the Saint can’t get married.”


Damia answered back with unfocused eyes. She had just clearly witnessed him stepping back as if Kael wanted to run away at once. It was a more pronounced refusal than simple words.

“I don’t hate you, Damia. I’m telling you, but it’s so sudden, and I have a dream… I don’t think I can give up now. Sorry, Damia.”

“I understand what you mean. So stop it, Kael.”

“……but I’m sorry.”

Is there anything more miserable than the constant word of apology from the person you confessed to? There was the sound of my heart breaking into pieces.

Damia whispered with her eyes cast down before tears came out.

“It’s all right. You don’t have to be sorry to me. Because it’s not the fault of the one who doesn’t love me.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose Dami. I…….”

“Okay, can you go now? I want to be alone for a moment. Please.”

Damia’s voice was relatively calm, thanks to her desperate efforts. Nevertheless, Kael could not quickly get out of her way. It was only natural, considering his weak nature.

“Damia… I’m not just spouting empty words, but you’re a really good woman. So if you just look away, you’ll be able to meet someone who’ll like you as much as you deserve.”

Kael, you want me not to be offended about what you just said! The direction this conversation was turning was awful. Find another man — when I‘ve been struggling with my love for you for ten years! It was more comforting than you didn’t say anything.

It was Dami’s choice whether to continue to like Kael even after she was rejected or not. It was not an issue he could argue with.

Furthermore, with her step-brother’s cunning influence, Kael was probably trying to push her towards him.

If Damia stays like this, she’ll cry, get angry, and look ugly. So Dami broke away.

“Please, Kael! Don’t make meany more miserable; just go away!”

At the end of my speech, I ended up bursting into tears. The crying from a mature Damia worked. Kael backed away in a fit of fright.

Damia, who finally forced him to step away, turned her back as he waited.

Kael hesitated to see if it was okay to go as it was, but it was apparent that an angry plea for him to leave would be handed down from her back. Adding to the pressure that he had just refused to her confession, Kael finally lost the courage to stick around.

“… … I’m sorry Damia. Please forget about a guy like me as soon as possible.”

Kael, muttering with a tearful face, turned around. And he ran away like he was running away from Damia and her feelings for him.

Damier crouched down and heard his footsteps fade away.

It was the sound of a long one-sided painful love breaking apart. It was also the sound of Kael stepping on the pieces of her broken heart.

I was in love for ten years. Ever since the day he wiped away her tears with his clumsy hands and gave her the small glass bead that he cherished as a treasure.

At that time, the most important person to Kael was his childhood friend Damia. But not now after ten years. Kael had just broken their relationship in a very amiable and painful way.

‘You want me to meet a good person as soon as possible?’

Dami remembered the words that had left her in tears. At first glance, it seemed like comforting words spoken for Damia benefit, but it was for Kael himself. To relieve the guilt of refusing Damia.

So Dami was even more miserable.

I already knew that it was a love that could not be returned.

However, Kael’s attitude toward the confession was more irresponsible and cruel than expected.

Damia murmured, stifling her trembling body with a sob.

“If that’s what you want, Kael, then I’ll do it.”

I caught a glimpse of a man’s back disappearing over a ridge just in time as if he had listened to her. Unfortunately, it was not Kael.


Damia stared at him with tearful eyes.

Even though I could only see his back, I could tell in an instant.

By now, Cesare will be smiling contently like a cat licking the cream. You feel like you’ve already got your hands on me.

I’ve had enough of it all. The unrequited love that’s made me crawl on my knees for too long, Cesare’s trap that has been so cunningly tightened around me, and the love that’s never been returned.

Suddenly, I thought it would be better if I threw it all away and ruined it all.

11 thoughts on “PCP – 16

  1. thanks!
    firstly, i think we can all agree that cesare is an ass and i hope he dies at the hands of the male lead( who is also an ass, but anyway)!

    i am usually very, uh, supportive of my female leads, but i don’t agree with this! this is, of course, entirely my own opinion. kael had already chosen his path, so damia telling him her feelings was like, practically a surefire rejection. i suppose damia knew that and just wanted kael to know her feelings. but i don’t think kael said anything wrong, honestly. i feel like damia was the one who should’ve run away, instead of chasing kael away, ahaha!
    but also, i am the type to say there are a lot of fish in the ocean and men in the world, you don’t have to be stuck on a single man if you are prepared to face pain. well you would have to face pain anyway, rofl!

  2. “It was the sound of a long one-sided painful love breaking apart. It was also the sound of Kael stepping on the pieces of her broken heart.”

    🙁 Well atleast she confessed… better to know the answer rather than prolonging the pain.

    1. In my opinion Kael wasn’t in the wrong. Even if he happened to catch on I’m pretty sure someone you weren’t attracted to and saw just as a friend, you wouldn’t really feel like acknowledging something like that as it would obliterate your relationship I make things super awkward, more awkward and knowing.

      Plus Kael was focused on his dream, he wasn’t really, as harsh as it sounds thinking of stuff like relationships or his friends possible romantic feelings for him, he was thinking of achieving a dream that he probably for a long while wanted to accheive.

      Either way he’s not a bad person for any of this, because whether he acknowledged it or not he had no feelings for Damia, especially with his reaction, seeing as he was so rattled about her confession, he probably either had feelings for this saintess chick or never had any feelings for Kael. Either way it would be even worse if Kael, despite not having any feelings for Damia compromised his dream and got with her because at that point he’d be being dishonest.

      He obviously feels bad about it. Which is why he apologized, I mean there really isn’t much he can do, what else do you want him to do? Get on his knees and kiss her feet? Grovel on the ground and beg for her forgiveness and mercy? Like he wasn’t even an asshole about it, though I feel bad for Damia, having been in her position before it is wrong to hate the person or deem someone for it and is simply irrational and illogical.

      1. Oh wow I didn’t think it would sound that way. What i meant was he should’ve noticed Damia’s feelings earlier. That way he could’ve lessen the hurt on Dami by drawing a line between them (he had a span of 10 yrs to do it you know) but even if he didn’t know, he still mishandled her confession. He did apologize but he shouldn’t have said more to it by saying she can find someone else that will like her as much as she deserves. (he’s basically adding salt to the wound) I know his intentions were good but if i were in Dami’s shoes, hearing comforting words to someone who’s basically the source of my pain right then and there, I wouldn’t be able to think straight with all my emotions spilling out. Rather would prefer him to speak nothing after apologizing, imo.

    2. For not having and feelings for her? What? So he should be madly in love and willing to compromise his dreams for her because she likes him else he is a 10 yr old? What world are you living in?

      1. Thank you for voicing out your thoughts. tbh I don’t hate Kael, his response just didn’t sit well with me and that’s totally okay since it’s my opinion. But hey, comments are comments and everyone has a right to have a piece of their minds here 🙂

  3. Her stepbrother gives me the creeps, yes so they are not biologically related but still siblings.
    Kael sounds like a guy that just cared about his dreams and feelings as he clearly didn’t take well to Damias confession.
    Akkard should kick some creep step brother ass..

  4. Probably the step-bro just wants to have the Count’s position, which is why he’s doing all this and letting Damia’s isolated. That way and with his current influence, there wouldn’t be any better man than him to fit that position.

    He’s a poisonous snake and I hope he’ll be erased at some point. He’s seriously giving me the creeps because of the systematic of his actions. Psycho vibes are strong tbh.

    About the childhood friend… eh, well, what can I say? He’s clumsy and obviously wasn’t aware of a quicker way to end things, but what can we do? I mean, he obviously didn’t see Damia as a woman and is probably interested in the Saint instead.

    I understand MC’s feelings but sorry, u simply wasn’t lived by him. It doesn’t really matter this new path of him, he actually never saw her as a woman so let’s move on. Damia is a cool MC anyway. uwu♡

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