ILLYML – 32.2

Thank you Ko-fi supporter: im a huge fan ily

This was literally the hall for hallucination. Just in case. The affectionate Alastair might suddenly change.

There was nothing strange about him suddenly strangling me.

“Impossible. Don’t worry, I’m not an illusion.”

“You’re lying.”

“Serina, I’m with you now.” Maybe it was an auditory hallucination that I heard Marina say that Alastair arrived.

“We have ten minutes left. Just hang in there. By then, it will be clear whether I’m an illusion or not.”

His eyes were dim and hazy. Maybe he also had a nightmare.

Maybe he’s used to this situation more than I am, and he’s pretending to be as calm as he can be because I’m by his side.

This place was really crazy.

How the hell did Alastair withstand it for such a long time?

I stretched over his body.

I was exhausted after going through the apparition.

I tried not to fall asleep because I was afraid of the nightmare, but my body did not listen.

* * *

The fluttering wind tickled my hair.

Rattle.

As the floor shook, my body shook as well.

My body was seized with the violent rush of vomiting—I hurriedly grabbed my mouth.

“·······Ret-retching. Blechhhh.”

“Serina·······!”

My stomach grumbled badly.

I continued to vomit.

It seemed out of nowhere.

When my nausea didn’t subside, Alastair stopped the carriage.

Thanks to this, my swaying stomach calmed down a little.

“I’m sorry······.”

“No, Serina.”

He kept patting and stroking my back.

“Don’t… I might throw up on your clothes.”

“It’s okay.”

“No……. I’m not okay.”

For a while, I was holding his thigh and groaning.

By sheer will, I lifted my head and raised my body.

“Here…… it’s all done.”

It was a belated reaction.

I couldn’t afford to look around because my body was struggling with pain.

“Well, then, now explain. Why on earth did you come here?”

“Before that, I’d like to ask you first. Serina, what the hell did you do to get stuck in that room?”

“I asked you first.”

“Even so, I won’t tell you until you tell me first.”

“You’re cheap.”

“Now you know?”

When we were trapped in a hallucination room, we hung on to each other as if we were everything, but now we couldn’t talk about it at all.

After a long internal struggle, I decided to talk first.

I rummaged in my sleeves.

A dull object came into my hand.

“I went to get this.”

“You stole it.”

It was an aromatic candle.

“So you were caught then?”

I nodded.

His face hardened to my confirmation.

“……What the hell? Why did you steal it?”

“I couldn’t help it. If Igelto investigates the scented candle [t1v: if we drank every time she said ‘scented candle….], he’ll know how to get rid of brainwashing. The more information he knows about it, the better medicine he can make·······.”

Bamm—

The inside of the carriage was violently crumpled like a piece of paper.

He looked furious now.

“Are you angry?”

His eyes turned cold at once. He was looking at me at yet he wasn’t looking at me at the same time.

“Isn’t that elf making you suffer?”

“No. It’s because of you. It’s all for you.”

“……I don’t understand you at all.”

“······.”

“You think I won’t love you if I’m freed from brainwashing. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“What?”

“There’s no way you wouldn’t have thought about the ramifications after my brainwashing is erased…. Serina, assume it happens as you thought; I don’t love you. But… Isn’t it too risky? “

“What the hell are you trying to say?”

I was always curious.

Wouldn’t it be good for him to free his brainwashing?

But why is he so resistant and reluctant?

“What are you going to do after I’m healed? With your mother’s personality…… I can’t leave you alone. You know better than anyone else. If I do what you think I’ll do, I won’t be able to help you….”

“I’ll handle my affairs on my own. You don’t have to worry.”

“Why are you doing such a reckless thing when you can’t fully anticipate what’s going to happen?”

It’s because of something as timeless and mundane as guilt. Pushing my life to the cliff because of guilt, I’m so old-fashioned.

“Serina.”

He called my name.

“By any chance… Do you love me?”

Bright purple eyes that can’t read my mind stared at me.

I wanted to turn my head away from him, but I couldn’t—frozen, afraid that those strangely shining purple eyes would dig into me.

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